HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

On April 25th my mother would have celebrated her 77th birthday.  She died on Mother’s Day, May 14, 2006 at 11:30pm.

 I never realized how much my life mirrored my mother’s life until recently.  As teens and young adults we witness the weaknesses of our parents and vow never to make the same mistakes they made.  And many times without realizing it (perhaps because we judged without knowledge) we find ourselves walking in their shoes.

 I’ve also followed her in the good things she accomplished in life.  She was an avid learner and teacher of the Word of God.  I too share her passionate devotion to God and His Word.  We both served (and I continue to serve) as ministers in our local church, and we’ve written teaching materials and booklets to edify and encourage the Body of Christ.  In her mid-fifties, my mom wrote a religious column for a community newspaper (Bulletin-Chicago). Since July of last year I’ve been writing a Christian column for a south suburban community newspaper (The Shopper-South Holland); I’m in my late fifties.

 One form of writing my mother excelled in was poetry (a form I struggle with).  The following is one of her favorites.

“The Harmony of Life” by Cordelia Ann Miller

Life is full of harmony somewhat like a song
Full of the good that we have done
And also full of the wrong.

Smiles and laughter, sorrows and tears
Follow us all down through the years
The miracle of birth, a part of each day
And the mystery of death, quietly slipping loved ones away.

Yet, life is good I say
For we know that to live is to die
To laugh and be happy and then to cry

And as I grow on in years
I find life sweeter even with all of its sorrows and tears
For I’ve found the hope and joy of ages past
And it’s built on God and I know it will last.

 I’ve found the light of life at last,
A light that cannot be surpassed
By the sorrows and tears life before me besets

 Yes, life is like a song full of harmony
As long as my God walks along beside me.

Singing in the Dark

I am grateful for pockets full of warm memories: my sister & I digging in the sandbox under the oak until mosquitoes drove us inside at dusk, gathering lilacs with Dad and bringing them home for Mom, playing Poo Sticks from the bridge at the edge of "The Open Space" (the play area at the edge of our trailer park), and pretending on keen days that the half-fearsome tug of my kite against the spool in my fist was a medieval falcon answering my commands.

I am grateful for the smiles of children today: the exuberance of their play, their happy shrieks and unfettered laughter. I am grateful for blossoms: on my geranium, in the neighbors' yards, on the bushes and trees. I am grateful for tea and good news and beauty hiding like Easter eggs all around our world.

I am grateful for a God Who cannot be eclipsed or threatened by my changing moods: Who knows me better than I know myself, Who every moment sees each cranny of my soul and somehow loves me more than I will ever understand, Who holds my hope for forgiveness and redemption and tomorrow.

I am grateful that He hears me singing in the dark and knows that I am afraid. I am grateful that I cannot--and need not--hide from Him.

A Friend With A Tail

Today, I tried to speak to her. I spoke as clear and as elegant as I could. I was sure that I was sure that I was as suave as a gentleman with my speaking. But, as I was trying to compliment her on her choice of shampoo, this happened:
 “You fussy feline! Wait, I’ll feed you as soon as I’m finished washing the dishes!”
I blinked once at her. I don’t get it. How could she have not understood what I was saying to her when I understood her just fine? I stared at her and I tried once more.
 “Meow!” I said.
She glanced at me, but said nothing.
I walked to her room and got under the bed.
After a few minutes of washing; she, Natalie, finally came to her room. I was still under her bed; for when she sat down, I could hear the old mattress springs creaking.
I crawled out from under the bed and looked around. Natalie laid in her bed staring at the wall. I sighed. I jumped up onto the bed and I cuddled up close to her because I knew that she was crying right now. I knew that she felt all alone because her father works 24/7. I wanted to be able to comfort her. I purred. She looked at me and smiled. She held me tightly and kissed the top of my head.
She whispered to me.
 “Levi, you’re my only friend.”
I thought to myself, ‘I know and I love you.’
But she didn’t answer. Then again, I didn’t expect her to anyway.
During the middle of the night, I saw a comet shoot across the sky. I remembered that Natalie would make a wish whenever that happened. So, I tried making a wish too while Natalie was sleeping. This is what I said:
 “Please, I wish to be able to comfort Natalie Fray more than I ever could as a cat. I want to hold her in my arms at least once if not ever.”
I waited, but nothing happened. How discouraging. I decided I would try to sleep a little more, maybe things like this just needed a little more time.
The next morning I heard screaming, loud screaming. I opened my eyes to see what all the commotion was about. It was Natalie freaking out x10.
 “Get out! Who are you?!” she yelled, “eek!!!!”
Before I could explain, or even figure out what was happening, she started hitting me with a pillow.
 “Wait-----!!!!!” I tried to say.
I jumped out of her bed and tried to run somewhere to hide, but I realized that I didn’t know how to use brand new human feet. I also realized that the one good thing about being a cat was that I had fur all over my body. Now, I only have yellow fur, or hair, on my head. Without a furry body, I sort of feel kind of, well… you know, naked.
I crawled to the laundry room to find something to put on. I found one of Natalie’s dad’s work shirts. I put it on and I tried my best to button it. The floor in the laundry room was cold. I studied my new body. I inspected my new feet; I wiggled my new toes. My feet were long and wide like flippers. In fact, my arms and legs were long as well. Perhaps I was tall now. Hmmmm. I used a wall as support as I tried to stand again.
I noticed a mirror on that wall and looked in it.
I saw my reflection. I blushed. I didn’t know that I was so handsome. I always had silvereyes and yellow hair; but, I never noticed the beauty in these features until I became human.
My legs started to get weak and ache, so I got on all-fours and started crawling again.
I figured that Natalie had finished freaking out so I went to find her. She was in the kitchen fixing a bowl of cat food for her cat, Levi. I told her that I’m Levi, but she wouldn’t believe me.
She sat the bowl on the floor and started calling her kitty.
“Levi, come here boy!” she called.
No response.
To show her I wasn’t kidding, I picked up the bowl and started eating out of it. She stared at me. I stared back at her.
Apparently, she thought this was funny. I don’t know why, but I laughed too. Then, I started crying. My stomach hurt.
 “Stop eating that.” She said to me, “you’re not a cat anymore.”
I put the food back on the floor. She started petting my head like when I was a cat. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand. We sat on the kitchen floor for some time. Finally, I found the courage to say something.
 “Natalie, I’ve always loved you.” I said, “I’ve loved you since the day you were born, always.”
This was true. Her parents adopted me as a kitten a day before Natalie’s mom gave birth to her. When I was finally allowed to see Natalie, I fell in love instantly.
I could tell that she was speechless. She just stared at me; but then, she did something amazing. She kissed me. I couldn’t think of what to do next so I just held her close to me.
I didn’t know if I would turn back into a cat anytime soon, but I did know that my biggest wish was just granted and that today would be the start of something cool.